When Governments Play Professor

Who knew bureaucrats would become the toughest crypto TA’s? Wyoming just gave us the most un-Web3 report card ever - scoring blockchains like a strict math teacher docking points for messy decentralization handwriting.

Valedictorians We Didn’t Expect Solana and Aptos topping the class with ³²⁄₄₀ points while Ethereum gets hall monitor duty? The grading rubric reads like a VC’s prenup:

• +3 points for ‘Wyoming-based entity registration’ (??)
• -2 for ‘past hacks’ (RIP Solana’s attendance record)

The Compliance Curveball Turns out when governments grade, Nakamoto Coefficient matters less than whether your chain can do detention (read: asset freezing). Layer 2s got marked down for Ethereum’s slow “homework submission” times. Ouch.

So crypto bros - still think regulation won’t change the game? Grab your red pens and debate below!

Should You Short CRCL?

Let me rephrase that: should you try to short CRCL? Because the market’s already turned your portfolio into confetti.

ARK’s $96M exit wasn’t just profit—it was an invitation to the party. And guess what? Everyone else is dancing.

With lockups lasting 180 days and VISA eyeing USDC settlements like it’s the next big thing, this isn’t just stablecoin hype—it’s national infrastructure energy.

As Hayes said: never short a compliance trophy during election year. Especially when it’s backed by Wall Street’s favorite nanny.

So yeah—keep your powder dry. Or better yet, buy some USDC and wait for the digital dollar proxy to go full billionaire mode.

You know what they say: if you can’t beat ‘em… join ‘em (and maybe invest in the toilet paper).

What do you think—short or stay long? Comment below! 🚨