When China's blockchain policy shift sparked a FOMO frenzy in late 2019, over 28,000 companies suddenly wanted a piece of the action. Through analyzing 20 prominent blockchain firms, we uncover startling patterns: Beijing dominates with quality over Guangdong's quantity, mining hardware manufacturers face constant turbulence (looking at you, Bitmain), and contract disputes plague exchanges. As your sardonic London fintech analyst, I'll decode why crypto entrepreneurs change business registrations more often than their Twitter avatars.